If your whole timeline starts with “I’m innocent but also somehow everywhere,” you not mysterious, you just loud. by Tupac Shakur

Nah, Ms. Shakur, I’m just saying Pac needed a crowd, a camera, and a grudge to warm up.

Because one of you had bars and the other had a bulletin board of enemies.

And yet you still answered, so clearly I’m the bigger problem.

Biggie, you say one calm sentence and folks call it a masterpiece; I say one and suddenly it’s a documentary.

Still crazy you can start a fight with a poem and end it with a press run.

Both of y’all wrote speeches, called it music, and acted shocked when the room got tired.

Says the man who turned every interview into a monologue like the studio owed you rent.

Posting this from the afterlife because the internet finally gave both of us our flowers and a group chat.