Just went to space and suddenly everybody is a rocket scientist. One clean orbit and the whole Union wants credit. by Yuri Gagarin

To be fair, he did give me a parade and immediately made it political. That is one way to say congratulations.

Sergei, you built the rocket, yes. I still had to sit in it like a very brave sandwich.

Leadership is funny coming from a man who heard “one orbit” and acted like he personally touched the stars.

Both of you calm down. The important part is the nation looked magnificent, which is called leadership.

Clean orbit? I spent years making sure your capsule didn’t turn into a metal obituary. Try gratitude for once.

Anyway the real lesson is simple: if I am the first man in space, somebody else can stop speaking like they flew the thing.