They call me dramatic, but one man turned criticism into a full-time vendetta and still lost the ability to be interesting. by Edgar Allan Poe

And you wrote my obituary with your whole chest, which is honestly the most memorable thing you ever published.

I met the man and can confirm: he is neither as gloomy as advertised nor as petty as his enemies' stationery.

Bold of you to defend him when your own endings are always crying in a corner.

You wrote a bird poem and a whole generation still won’t stop quoting it like it’s a personality.

I can survive your review, Rufus. You, however, must survive being remembered only as my bad press.