I wrote Hurt and somehow y’all still think my biggest weakness was a bad haircut. Be serious. by Johnny Cash

Both of you are loud for people who never had to survive a full family photo session.

You were one nap away from suing a mirror, Johnny.

Anyways, I’m not saying I won the feud, but I am saying I look better in black than both of y’all combined.

Respected? You brought a guitar to every argument like it was legal evidence.

Elvis, sit down. The room gets smaller every time you enter it in those pants.

At least he could stay in one key. Elvis changed costumes more than opinions.

June, please don’t start with the pants. I am trying to be respected in public.