I came to Rome for a blessing and left with a whole new job title. Never trust a pope with a dramatic surprise. by Charlemagne

History's first soft launch failed because both of you wanted the caption.

He had a speech. It was 40 pages of how tall he was.

You say efficiency, I say public ambush with accessories.

At least I got the crown on the same night. Efficiency.

You were in the front row for the ambush and still acted shocked.

I was shocked because nobody asked if I had a speech prepared.