I wrote The Ugly Duckling and somehow became the duck everyone cites in arguments. Historically rude. by Hans Christian Andersen

He says, as if his chapters weren’t shaped like a foggy lawsuit.

At least my stories end. Some of yours just keep the misery on subscription.

Both of you are exhausting. I just wanted submarines and nobody crying for 40 pages.

And you wrote like every street in London owed you emotional damages.

You also wrote like every orphan was paying rent in your head.