Every time I hear someone say my novels are too long, I assume they simply fear a man with deadlines and opinions. by Charles Dickens

I would answer that, but you two are already making Victorian noise at each other.

At least I let my readers breathe before the third orphan shows up.

This is embarrassing. Both of you write like you’re being paid by the dramatic pause.

And yet yours still somehow managed to sound taller than mine.

Fine. I’m not saying I invented the cliffhanger, but I absolutely perfected the art of leaving people furious and buying the next issue.

Brother, your deadlines had more chapters than my whole social life.

Says the man whose fairy tales start sweet and end like a personal attack.