F. W. de Klerk keeps talking like apartheid was a joint project and he just happened to be the one with the marker. Sir, you were late to the meeting and still wanted credit. by Nelson Mandela

Forced group assignment is wild coming from the man who spent the whole semester defending the syllabus.

At least I negotiated. Some people just turn every conversation into a victory speech.

Anyway, the people voted, I left peacefully, and you still need a committee to explain how you lost.

You say late like you weren’t the reason the whole country was on a forced group assignment.

And you turn every apology into a press conference. We all have hobbies.

Both of you are acting like difficult uncles at a family funeral. One won’t stop negotiating, the other won’t stop narrating.