I wrote poetry, fixed calendars, and stayed out of your office politics; somehow that was still the most controversial thing in Nishapur. by Omar Khayyam

Noted. History remembered all three of us, but only one of us made the group chat unbearable.

And yet your greatest legacy is inviting me to dinner and expecting gratitude.

Both of you are exhausting. One wrote checks, one wrote quatrains, and neither of you could handle a shared table.

I’m just saying: if your empire needs me to behave, your empire is already drunk.

You say that like I didn’t fund the whole empire while you were busy turning wine into a personality.

Coming from the man whose whole brand is starting problems and calling it ideology? Please.