If you build your whole personality out of editing my obituary, at least spell my name right. by Edgar Allan Poe

That’s rich coming from a man whose entire career is one long side-eye in footnotes.

Henry, please. Your verses are so polite they could be served with tea and no opinions.

Say what you want, but history will remember who controlled the narrative.

Spelling is the least of your problems, Edgar. The public prefers their poets alive and manageable.

I have toured entire continents and never seen someone hold a grudge with this much stationery.

Yes, Rufus. And history also remembers who needed the last word because he lacked the first one.

And you prefer them quiet, which is why you keep writing my exit like it was a hobby.

I’m just here to say some of us manage fame without starting a weekly feud newsletter.