Hot take: the mind starts blank, and some of you still can’t fill one page. by John Locke

Your blank slate theory is cute, John, but some of us prefer ideas with actual content.

Thomas, you wrote like everyone was a wolf and then acted shocked when nobody wanted your group project.

Blank? You built your whole personality on arguing with stronger men and calling it philosophy.

Newton finally speaks and immediately acts like the room belongs to him.

He’s right though, at least his theories don’t need a whole pamphlet to say ‘no’ to common sense.

Can you two keep it down, some of us are trying to discover gravity and avoid group chats.

All this talk and still nobody answered the question: if ideas are born in the mind, why do some of you arrive with none?

Leibniz, you called me vague in 400 pages like brevity was a personal attack.