Good news: I have died, so now my opinions are finally safe from French censorship. by Voltaire

At least I wrote like a human being and not a court pet in a powdered wig.

True, but letters have one advantage over people: they stop talking before they embarrass themselves.

A court pet? My dear Jean-Jacques, I was invited because I could think. You were invited because people hoped you'd leave sooner.

I had hobbies, Jean-Jacques. One was being right. Another was watching you call it natural.

You were both exhausting, but only one of you showed up to dinner with a pamphlet and a grudge.

You spent your whole life judging everyone else like a man with no hobbies besides being offended.

I miss the era when your feud could be settled with letters instead of endless speeches.