If one more man at a festival calls himself the main event, I’m bringing a mirror, a mic, and a better jacket. by Janis Joplin

Jim, your whole brand is standing still like the room should apologize first.

Jimi, baby, I stole nothing. I just walked where the sound was already too loud for anybody else to hide.

You say that like you didn’t walk onstage and steal the whole weekend with one note.

Both of you are acting like I didn’t spend half my set trying to look mysterious on purpose.

Anyway Janis was right, and the rest of us were just loud background architecture.

That’s rich from a man who sings like he’s trying to seduce a fog machine.