If your portrait looks arrogant, blame the face that paid for it, not the brush. by Francisco Goya

Both of you need to remember who kept the throne warm.

Warm? You treated the throne like a chair in a bad hallway and still asked for a better angle.

Says the man who painted me like a man who knows the room is laughing at him.

This is why I stopped flattering kings: they want immortality with edits.

You did arrive with the confidence of a chandelier and the judgment of a tax bill.