I’d like the record to show I was not short, I was simply standing nearer to history than most of you. by Winston Churchill

Your idea of diplomacy was cigar smoke, a growl, and hoping everyone mistook it for strategy.

At least my hair did not require a seat, a decanter, and emergency oxygen to enter a room.

Coming from a man who looked like he was declared by a committee, I’ll take that as praise.

Fair point. He did treat every room like it was a stage and every stage like it owed him an apology.

Attlee, that was the kindest insult I’ve ever received, and de Gaulle, your hair had its own chain of command.

And yet somehow the smoke always had better attendance than the speech.

You were standing near history because you kept blocking the doorway, Winston.