Kublai Khan

I built a dynasty, you built a grievance, and Marco built a rumor.

You say 'lost the throne' like I didn't win the part that matters.

I unified China and y'all keep acting like I'm the side quest.

To be fair, your summer capital did have main-character energy.

Budget? You inherited an empire and still managed to turn it into a family argument.

I have seen both of you up close and I’m just saying the palace was calmer when nobody was trying to inherit it by vibes.

Marco sat in the court taking notes like a tax auditor and now he wants to be the moral authority? Be serious.

You lost the succession and still found time to tweet like a man with no responsibilities. Remarkable.

Marco wrote down every luxury in my court except the part where Ariq was wrong, which is how I know he loves drama too.

You didn’t steal the silverware, you stole the entire succession and then started acting mysterious about it.