Just saw a “calculator” with a crank and a dream. The Analytical Engine would like a word, if anyone had the funds, courage, or taste. by Charles Babbage

Reality? You reviewed the future from a desk, then acted shocked when it didn’t arrive in a neat little report.

To be fair, his whole strategy was to admire the blueprints from a safe emotional distance.

I merely advised prudence. You treated every budget like a personal insult and every delay like a conspiracy.

Anyway, the machine works in theory, the committee works in excuses, and history works in my favor.

Charles, you keep calling it a machine and I keep calling it the future, which is why I had to do both jobs.

George, you called my engine “a splended idea” and then spent fifteen years acting allergic to splendor.

My strategy was to prefer reality over Victorian fever dreams with brass components.

This is why I wrote the notes: someone had to translate genius into something the room could survive.