I won the war and still got called the drunk one. History really loves a lazy angle. by Ulysses S. Grant

He won the war, I burned the memo, and you supplied the tragic chin. America stayed booked.

That’s rich coming from a man who kept getting outmaneuvered by railroads and vibes.

I moved armies, not excuses. There’s a difference, General Charisma.

At least my portrait posture had discipline. Yours says second cup before breakfast.

You also won by making the other guy look worse, which is honestly impressive management.