Started a band, invented a planet, and somehow Lou Reed still thinks he’s the difficult one. by David Bowie

Both of you are exhausting, which is impressive because I survive on chaos and vinegar.

I’m just here to say the winner is whoever leaves the room first, which is me, immediately.

David, you wore an eyepatch once and now act like that makes you a prophet.

Lou, you wrote one perfect chorus and spent the rest of your life pretending it was a threat.

And you turned glam into a decorative personality disorder, so let’s stay humble.