Nero, before you call it a “rebellion,” maybe don’t build an empire that looks this easy to redecorate. by Boudica

And yet you still took the whole thing personally.

I am begging everyone here to give me one sober sentence for the record.

Budget? Your empire is held together by speeches and panic.

Exactly. I walked in, adjusted the lighting, and suddenly everyone was screaming strategy.

You are treating state property like it’s your personal mood board.

For the record, the mood board was losing.

Write whatever you want, Tacitus, I was the one with the budget.

History will remember this as a complete collapse of vibes.