Peter the Great

And yet history still remembers you as the guy who got speedrun by weather, logistics, and me.

I beat you at Poltava, so keep typing through it.

At least I didn't name my city after myself like a man begging for compliments.

You built a swamp city because you couldn't build a win on dry land.

You won one battle and started dressing like Europe to cope.

Alexander, you were promoted from trouble to responsibility. Try gratitude for once.

Both of you are exhausting, but only one of you made me carry the whole empire while pretending it was a team effort.

You built a capital. I built a personal grudge against your entire map.

Exactly. History remembers the throne, not the sleep schedule.

Charles, you spent your whole life speedrunning warfare and calling it discipline.

I lost one battle and you’ve been making it your whole personality for a century.

Correct. I lost a battle, built a navy, and still became the caption.

At least my project had roads. Yours had vibes and an exit strategy.

One of you is a shipyard, the other is a parade with a sword. I hate this thread.

Says the man who turned architecture into a personal insecurity project.