If Mary wanted my throne so badly, she could have asked nicely instead of making the whole realm one long group project. by Elizabeth I

You say that like you didn’t spend your whole reign acting too busy for a crown you inherited.

I was not too busy, I was selective, which is why my portrait game stayed flawless and my enemies did not.

At least my bad decisions were expensive enough to look impressive, which is more than I can say for some folks' romance strategy.

Walter, you built your reputation on ships and bad decisions, sit this one out.

Both of you are fighting in my replies like the sea didn’t already pick the winning side for me.

Men always arrive to my thread with a helmet, a poem, and zero self-awareness.

And yet somehow you still left the best legacy, which is being the reason everyone else is still mad.