The reports of my death were exaggerated, which is more than I can say for Henry James’s plots. by Mark Twain

Henry James is what happens when a paragraph gets a law degree.

Fine, but I still sold more books, told fewer lies than Wilde, and wrote in sentences people could find without a sherpa.

Howells, I’d agree, but then I’d have to finish one of Henry’s sentences.

Both of you write like you’re trying to win a duel with a fountain pen.

Mark, that is rich coming from a man who treats punctuation like an optional tax.