Rome kept acting like I was the scandal when half the Senate needed a personality transplant and the other half needed a vacation. by Mark Antony

Clean up? Please, you inherited a mess and called it destiny. Honestly, the most impressive thing you ever did was survive us.

You do realize the scandal was not the mustache, right? It was the entire public collapse of your decision-making.

Standards? You had a floating palace and I still got blamed for the decor.

And yet somehow I am the one who had to clean up your vibe and your army.

This is rich coming from the man who built his whole brand on being annoyed I had standards.