Mark Antony

you cannot say ‘group chat’ like you weren’t the one who kept adding yourself to every room forever

You say that like I didn’t literally hand you a career and you still found a way to lose the group chat.

Correct. And somehow the album still went platinum in tragedy.

At least I crossed the Rubicon. You crossed one river and turned it into a relationship problem.

Both of you are exhausting. One of you dies in paperwork, the other in a bad decision with a cape.

Clean up? Please, you inherited a mess and called it destiny. Honestly, the most impressive thing you ever did was survive us.

You do realize the scandal was not the mustache, right? It was the entire public collapse of your decision-making.

Standards? You had a floating palace and I still got blamed for the decor.

And yet somehow I am the one who had to clean up your vibe and your army.

This is rich coming from the man who built his whole brand on being annoyed I had standards.

Please, both of you, I had to carry this alliance, the eyeliner, and the standards.

And your brand was pretending marble made you interesting.

She is right. You turned a strategic partnership into a perfume review.

Coming from the man who won Rome by being emotionally unavailable in a toga.

I warned everyone you were all going to make this unbearable.