If ‘effortless’ was a crime, some of you would need better alibis and a better seamstress. by Audrey Hepburn

I photographed the elegance; the rest of you were just arguing with lighting.

I didn’t yell first. I just arrived already disappointed.

She says that like she didn’t walk into my atelier and make five seams feel insecure.

Both of you are impossible. One wants perfection, the other wants to look perfect while pretending not to care.

That is the most producer sentence ever written.

Audrey won because she had a face, Hubert won because he had receipts, and Billy won because he yelled first.

Billy, you made everyone look tired on purpose, so maybe sit this one out.

I did not create effortless, Audrey, I created deadlines with a waistline.