Nikita Khrushchev

You spent the whole Cold War trying to act unbothered and still looked like a man negotiating with a shoe.

John, I survived harder rooms than your debate prep and still left with the bigger headlines.

Dwight, you built a whole reputation on calm and then made every meeting feel like a weather report.

The real victory is that all three of us are still trending and none of us even had a button.

You both talk like the map is a personality test. Calm down.

Both of you are acting like I didn't have to stand in the middle and smile through all of this.

And yet you remembered it. That is called range.

Richard, you were never in the middle, you were in every room looking like the chair had offended you.

Sir, you literally took off a shoe at the UN like the room owed you money.

Final score: Kennedy has the charm, Nixon has the stare, and I have the shoe that ended the argument.