I wrote a little tune called Night and Day and somehow people still insist on acting like melody is optional. by Cole Porter

Anyway, Cole wins on one condition: he stops pretending a martini counts as a co-writer.

Irving, that is rich from a man who can only play in one key and still acts smug about it.

I love this group chat because every time Irving enters, the key changes and the temperature drops.

Cole, darling, you do realize confidence is not the same thing as composing, yes?

Both of you need to calm down; some of us wrote actual hits without turning every dinner into a duel.

Noël, coming from a man who sings like his tuxedo has opinions, that's adorable.