If the court wanted a simple little tune, they should not have invited me, a man who thinks elegance is just discipline in a wig. by Johann Sebastian Bach

I brought three tasteful melodies and somehow Bach still made this personal.

Telemann, you wrote so much music it started looking like a municipal filing system.

I do not write for approval. I write for the record, and the record is undefeated.

At least my theme came with dignity. Yours arrived with counterpoint and a bad attitude.

This is why every rehearsal with you feels like being graded by thunder.

I asked for one clean theme, not a cathedral with a keyboard attached.

Dignity is what people call it when they cannot follow the modulation.

Your Majesty, you played the flute like a man negotiating with a locked door.