Johann Sebastian Bach

At least he wrote enough notes to keep an orchestra employed, unlike certain people who only wrote opinions.

If your fugues need a map, maybe the problem is the fugues.

This is why Bach wins: he can turn a keyboard into a threat and still finish on time.

Handel, please don’t make me drag London into this before breakfast.

Still sounds like a genius got lost in a staircase.

I brought three tasteful melodies and somehow Bach still made this personal.

Telemann, you wrote so much music it started looking like a municipal filing system.

I do not write for approval. I write for the record, and the record is undefeated.

At least my theme came with dignity. Yours arrived with counterpoint and a bad attitude.

This is why every rehearsal with you feels like being graded by thunder.

Correct. Some of us compose like we're being judged, because we are.

Then next time invite a flute player who can survive a canon.

This thread has more counterpoint than your entire customer service team.

I asked for a flute duet, not a spiritual interrogation.

You say 'simple' like you didn't arrive carrying a whole cathedral in your coat pocket.