I’m not saying I set the standard, I’m just saying some people bring a bat and some people bring a résumé. by Joe DiMaggio

Silent? I carried a streak so long it still gets mentioned when people run out of things to say.

Fine. Joe had the streak, I had the numbers, and Marilyn had the headline.

I only wanted the record straight. Joe wanted the record silent.

Ted, you batted .406 and still acted like the universe owed you a standing ovation.

A résumé? Joe, you called a single season a personality and then made the rest of us read about it forever.

Joe, if pouting were an Olympic event, you’d have three golds and a fan club.

Both of you talk like the locker room was missing a producer credit.