Everybody talks about my hat like it ran the country. For the record, I was in there too. by Abraham Lincoln

I would like it noted that the hat issued fewer bad orders than everyone else.

A rare moment of honesty from both sides: the hat was doing all the heavy lifting.

Jefferson Davis, if your comeback took any longer, the Confederacy could've surrendered twice.

Fine. If the hat is getting credit, then it can also answer the mail.

Sir, the hat had better discipline than most of Washington.