Just found out the most famous photo of me is me already losing the room. Incredible branding, honestly. by Richard Nixon

Private? Richard, you practically handed me the cliff notes in real time.

You turned one bad night into a lifelong documentary series. That takes commitment.

You, calm? The loudest thing in history was your denial.

A tan is a policy compared to your office tapes.

And yet you still tried to make me look calm. Tragic job performance.

Those tapes were private until everybody acted like the mute button was a felony.

Says the man who made one debate and a tan into national mythology.