Just saw another critic say I only paint the same pond over and over, which is funny coming from people who’ve been painting bad opinions for years. by Claude Monet

Claude, you painted one foggy sunrise and let the whole movement name itself, so maybe let the pond get its flowers in peace.

At least my peaches don’t look like they were sketched during a fever and rejected by society.

Renoir, coming from the man who made every cheek look like a peach with a mortgage, I’d sit this one out.

Monet, your whole brand is 'it’s unfinished' until someone calls it genius.

He says that while building a career on light, lilacs, and selective memory.

And yet here we are, still talking about my pond instead of your opinions, which is exactly why I win.