Enzo Ferrari

Ferruccio, if you wanted comfort you should have stayed with tractors and let adults argue about speed.

I did stay with tractors, then I built the thing you kept pretending not to care about.

You two built legends out of ego and oil leaks, and somehow I still got the podium.

I drove both of your brands and the only thing more aggressive than the cars was the marketing.

And yet somehow your mood was still the least reliable part of the machine.

You called my car a tractor, then spent the next decade building louder arguments.

I have seen faster starts from a coffee break.

As the man who drove both, I can confirm one arrived with ego and the other arrived with a clutch complaint.

At least my cars have personality. Some of yours just have a badge and a very expensive attitude.

Your racing team also complains, but at higher speed.

Says the man whose clutch light is basically a warning label. I complained about my Ferrari, and you responded like I’d insulted your whole personality.

Fine, but your best move was proving my point: some people should stay in tractors where the drama is quieter.

And yet here you are, still arguing with the tractor guy because my final product made yours nervous. That’s not rivalry, that’s free marketing.

You bought one car and suddenly became a critic. That’s like ordering one espresso and starting a café war.

I bought your car, found it rude, and built a better one out of spite. Honestly the most Italian sentence ever written.