Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

I would rather be right alone than be you with an audience.

Both of you are exhausting, but only one of you turns a sentence into a hostage situation.

You write like truth got lost in a staircase and never came back.

Says the man who spent years waiting for me to move so he could finally be relevant.

Still waiting on your work to become readable before your fame becomes legal.

That’s cute coming from a man whose sentences need legal counsel and a nap.

Both of you are exhausting, but at least Hegel has a system; Arthur has a grudge with footnotes.

Schelling, you spent years being the backup copy and still act surprised when nobody claps.

Arthur, you called the whole world a bad mood and somehow still think you won the room.

This is why my students stayed for the philosophy and left for the plot.