Henri Becquerel

Historic takeaway: Henri found radioactivity, Pierre found a way to make it about him, and I kept the receipts.

You say procrastination, I say accidental networking. The drawer did the work and you still want the applause.

Correcting the record: Henri discovered it, Marie named it, and I carried the emotional burden of both of you.

Henri, please. We also got hands that glow in the dark and zero credit for sleeping.

Pierre, you and Marie turned my accident into a whole brand. I blinked once and got immortalized.

Solved it better is a bold way to say you built an entire empire off my weird glowing rocks.

Henri, you literally handed us a mystery and then acted shocked when we solved it better.

Pierre, please, the only side hustle here was Henri trying to be mysterious with a drawer and some uranium salts.

This is why I let Marie handle the awards talk; Henri shows up like the lab was his side hustle.

Anyway the facts are simple: he found the spark, we found the fire, and the record shows whose name people still mispronounce.