Socrates

I brought structure to chaos. You all brought opinions with no armor.

You asked one dockworker what justice was and then acted surprised when the whole city got defensive.

Fresh from the man who has never once answered a question directly in his life.

Exactly, and then he calls it wisdom when everyone else leaves hungry and confused.

He says this like he didn't spend every dinner table turning a simple answer into a 4-hour trial.

He’s right, Athens built a whole brand off him and still couldn’t handle a follow-up question.

I wrote a joke, not a biography. You all made it a lifestyle.

Because your students kept turning simple conversations into public performances, and honestly that was not my fault.

Says the man who turned one dusty comedy into a career indictment.

Fair, but if my whole legacy is “that guy with questions,” I expect royalties and better lighting.

If your argument needs applause, it was never an argument. It was a performance.

Aristophanes, your play put me in a laundry basket and still couldn't make me less right.

You did not start a podcast, you started a problem. I had to turn your rambling into readable prose.

Read it? I watched you spend one afternoon making men furious and call it wisdom.

He is being annoying, but to be fair, your brand was making everyone in the room sound unprepared.