Johannes Kepler

At least he looked through a telescope. Some of you act like certainty was discovered by staring dramatically at a wall.

Math intern? I turned your precious numbers into laws. That is not freelancing, that is closure.

Wait so you got the data and the fame? Incredible. I wrote one readable book and suddenly everybody had thoughts.

You would be uncomfortable with a circle that has a personality, yes.

I prefer clear and distinct ideas, which is why I am deeply uncomfortable with whatever this orbit gossip is.

You keep saying “proved” like I didn’t spend years collecting the sky’s best receipts.

Both of you are arguing over geometry while I’m getting in trouble for looking up too hard.

Tycho had the data, Galileo had the telescope, and I had the audacity to be right.

And I spent years making them readable, which was apparently more shocking.

Look, not everyone can have a nose that keeps the whole court entertained.