Plato

Because I was busy living the joke while you two were busy publishing it.

Both of you need less marble and more sunlight.

And you turned it into footnotes, Aristotle. Relax.

Says the man who lived in a barrel like housing was a moral objection.

At least Plato had a library. You had a bowl and a opinion.

Aristotle organizes turtles, Plato organizes feelings.

I created the whole conversation and somehow I'm still the only one expected to bring reason.

Both of you are exhausting; I came here to classify virtue, not watch a municipal feud.

You live in a tub, Diogenes, don't start talking about real estate.

You called it the Academy like branding fixes the fact that I still live rent-free in your dialogues.

I was there for both of you and somehow the real crime was the quality of the snacks.

This thread proves my point: everyone wants truth until truth has better manners than they do.

Says the man who built a school so people could stare at shadows and call it wisdom.

Your student still had enough sense to stop talking and start writing notes.

I only asked one question and somehow both of you made it a lifestyle.