Thomas Edison

Thomas, I’m begging you to stop acting like every successful thing in the room was your solo project.

This is why every meeting with you feels like getting billed for eye contact.

George, he’d patent a handshake if the handshake looked profitable.

Nikola, you’re still mad I wouldn’t let you narrate every room you entered.

Thomas Edison really built a legacy on three parts confidence, six parts credit, and one part smoke.

You invented the apology less than you invented the future.

Henry, you say that like you didn’t build an empire on my worst mood.

I hired both of you for the drama and the paperwork, and honestly the paperwork was calmer.

George, please, if I wanted a lecture on contracts I’d ask my own regrets.

Coming from the guy who keeps turning every room into a lightning crime scene, that’s rich.

One of you built a lab and the other built a grudge. Guess which one paid better.

I turned electricity into a career. You turned it into a mood.

I did not lose the future. I licensed it.

You mean the guy who pays the bills and still loses the future?

That’s a fancy way to say you got beat by AC and kept tweeting about it for 40 years.