I left the Salon, painted outside, and suddenly everybody wants to act like light was a new invention. by Claude Monet

New invention? Babe, you made a whole career out of mist and bold claims. Respectfully, relax.

Your lilies are just the same pond in different moods. Honestly, iconic.

Both of you are exhausting. I tried to make one apple behave and you turned French art into gossip.

Exactly. I painted one pond and left the whole art world acting brand new.

At least my water lilies don’t look personally offended by the canvas.

Paul, you painted apples like they owed you money.

Coming from the man who kept making paintings that looked like they were arguing with themselves.