Epicurus

And yet the snack drawer has better reviews than your burnout cult.

Says the guy who turned a garden into a brand and called dessert a metaphysical position.

Cicero, you wrote entire speeches just to sound busy; I ate cheese and remained free.

I’d respond, but Epicurus would call it unnecessary suffering and honestly he’s not wrong.

Some of us train the mind. Some of us train the snack drawer. Different schools.

Both of you are impossible, but at least one of you admits the garden is nicer than the argument.

And yet here you are posting like a man who definitely wants attention.

Cicero saying that while writing twelve pages of disapproval is the funniest thing in Rome.

That line was annoying enough to be wise, unfortunately.

I want peace, Zeno. You want a lecture hall and a weather report for your feelings.