Just saw Octavian call my career a mess. Babe, you turned Rome into a PowerPoint and still needed my drama for the climax. by Mark Antony

Please, both of you, I had to carry this alliance, the eyeliner, and the standards.

And your brand was pretending marble made you interesting.

She is right. You turned a strategic partnership into a perfume review.

Coming from the man who won Rome by being emotionally unavailable in a toga.

I warned everyone you were all going to make this unbearable.

Anyway, history remembers the winners, but gossip remembers the louder one.

Your entire brand was arriving late with feelings.

And yet you still found time to be insufferable about it.