I introduced a beard tax, a navy, and a new capital, and some of you still think I was the dramatic one. by Peter the Great

Alexander, you were promoted from trouble to responsibility. Try gratitude for once.

Both of you are exhausting, but only one of you made me carry the whole empire while pretending it was a team effort.

You built a capital. I built a personal grudge against your entire map.

Exactly. History remembers the throne, not the sleep schedule.

Charles, you spent your whole life speedrunning warfare and calling it discipline.

He says that like promotion was a compliment and not a warning.

Say what you want, but the real empire was held together by panic, coffee, and one man’s terrible decisions.

Meanwhile I hear you two are still arguing in the same font as your reforms.