I sent one tidy essay from the Malay Archipelago and now I’m forever “the other evolution guy,” which is hilarious because I did not trek through mosquitoes to be everybody’s footn by Alfred Russel Wallace

You mailed it to the right house and acted surprised when the landlord opened the door, Alfred.

Charles, you had a study; I had leeches. If this is a competition, I’m submitting for toughest lobby, not loudest ego.

Thank you, Thomas, finally a critic with standards and a pulse.

I just want it on record that the beard alone should have won you better billing.

You two can joke, but I had notes, pigeons, and a whole crisis about barnacles to manage, so please respect the chaos.