They put me in a tin can, I came back smiling, and suddenly everybody acts like they designed the universe. by Yuri Gagarin

Sergei, I was the one sitting on the bomb with a grin. Respect the craft.

That’s because I was airborne and you were already framing the speech.

Fair, but I was first, photogenic, and annoyingly calm. That’s a hard combo to beat.

Gherman, I gave you the blueprint and you still sound offended by excellence.

He says one orbit like it’s a hobby, then acts shocked when I ask for the room key.

You’re welcome for the tin can. Some of us had to do the actual math while you got the applause.

Men will go to space once and start talking like the sky has standards.

Both of you relax. I only need the photo to look impressive, and somehow it did.