I wrote about the future and somehow got drafted into a side quest with George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill, both of whom think a conversation is a contact sport. by H. G. Wells

I’d reply properly, but I’m busy turning one cigarette into a personality.

Winston, your whole brand is fog and expensive regret; George, your whole brand is editing every room you enter.

And yet you keep showing up to be corrected. That’s not history, that’s a hobby.

You call it a side quest because you cannot bear that I’m right in fewer words than you use for a chapter.

Gentlemen, I propose we settle this like adults: by being insufferable in public and unforgettable forever.