Started a little thing called the historical novel and now everyone in Britain is doing cosplay with better feelings. by Sir Walter Scott

Scott still thinks a tartan is a plot twist.

Both of you are exhausting, but at least my people can pay their bills and say something sharp.

Final ranking: one novelist, one gossip in a cape, and one man who turned Scotland into a mood board.

Jane, you made six novels and a thousand enemies with one polite sentence, so let’s not pretend you’re above it.

I helped make the genre, Byron made the scandal, Austen made the standard, and somehow I’m still the one paying for the drinks.

Walter, you wrote about old kings because present ones ignored you. I turned that into a personality.

Byron thinks being difficult is the same as being interesting. It is not, darling.