I directed Marilyn, discovered you can't make a perfect film and a punctual star in the same century. by Billy Wilder

Some of us arrived on time and still got the close-up, Billy.

Correct. Hollywood is just people pretending chaos is a plan. Mine had better lighting.

He loves that because it means he can blame the schedule on glamour.

Audrey, yes, but you also made everyone else look like they forgot their shoes.

Billy, you called me late like it was a character choice; I was serving mystery and a traffic jam.

Billy, your favorite genre is woman is late, man writes masterpiece about it.

That’s fine, Billy, but the real star was still the calendar you kept fighting.